President's Letter to our Members

By Andrea Vacca

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
Margaret Mead.

I often think of this quote when I think about the commitment that we share, as collaborative divorce professionals, to change how couples divorce and how their children experience that transition. This seemingly small act can have ripple effects that expand from the immediate family we’re helping, out to their extended family, and across generations. We can change the lives of so many people when we help our clients divorce in a way that helps them to maintain a sense of family.

But what families are we helping? When you look at the majority of your collaborative divorce clients, what are their economic circumstances? What is their skin color? How do they identify sexually? Chances are, most of us will answer those questions: Upper middle class to very wealthy. White. Straight.

Returning member Jessica Rothberg writes a powerful letter in this newsletter asking NYACP to look at the roster of our members and encourages us to bring more diversity into our organization. This is an important observation that needs to be addressed. This is the time of year when we start encouraging our members to let us know about matrimonial attorneys, mental health professionals and divorce financial professionals in their networks who may be interested in getting collaborative training and becoming a member of our organization. NYACP will not be offering our own live training this year, because of Covid-19, but we can let potential members know about virtual trainings that are being put on by members of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. I ask you all to think as broadly as possible as you look at your networks for other professionals who might be interested in doing this work.

We also need to find a way to offer the collaborative divorce process to families with more modest socio-economic backgrounds. Brian Galbraith’s webinar on the Streamlined Collaborative Process has inspired a group of our members, headed up by MaryEllen Linnehan, Lauren Behrman and Steve Kaplan, to begin working on a way to bring this flat-fee process to our organization.  I’m so excited thinking about how many more families we will be able to help when this becomes a reality.

How else can we expand the diversity among our membership and our individual clients? Please share your ideas with Abby Curro or any of our officers and board members. Introduce us to other organizations that you think we can partner with to bring this powerful divorce process to a wider diversity of families. This is how we can truly change the world. 

New Opportunities During Difficult Times

While, certainly, the COVID-19 pandemic has presented hardships for all, Zoom technology has been a silver lining for NYACP members. Thanks to Abby Curro, our Executive Director and Capitol Hill Management Services, our President, Andrea Vacca, and our Training and Education Committee led by Melissa Goodstein and Ken Novenstern, our members have had the opportunity to attend more programs than ever before. With geography (and tolls) no longer an obstacle, Long Islanders have been able to attend New York City and Westchester Pods and vice versa. Attendance at some meetings has almost doubled; and there has often been more than one program each week.

First, here are some of the programs our Training and Education Committee, led by Melissa Goodstein and Ken Novenstern have planned for the fall, 2020:

NYACP 2020 Highlights ~ So Far This Year

Bankruptcy in Divorce

On January 16, 2020, the Northern Westchester Pod presented a program "Bankruptcy in Divorce." Their speaker was Nathan Horowitz, Esq. Attendees learned about how the 2005 Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act (BAPCPA) made substantial changes in how a bankruptcy filing affects a divorce. The major changes gave special classification to debts arising from a divorce and actions that may continue despite the bankruptcy filing. That decreased the use of bankruptcy as a divorce litigation tactic. Nathan discussed different applications of BAPCPA, comparing different bankruptcy chapters (Chapter 7 versus Chapter 13) and Domestic Support Orders versus Property Settlements. The timing of a bankruptcy filing and the negative effect this may have on a divorce settlement was also explored. We learned that in a dispute, the Bankruptcy Court is supreme. Nathan also reviewed provisions in marital settlement agreements relating to bankruptcy that he has found to be either helpful or problematic. He recommended that if parties are considering bankruptcy, the proceeding should be commenced and finalized before a matrimonial filing whenever possible.

Behind Closed Doors

On Thursday February 13, 2020, the NYACP Training and Education Committee presented "Behind Closed Doors ~ Domestic Violence in the Context of Divorce," presented by Robi Schlaff, Esq., Director and Darlene Reda, Esq., Program Coordinator, for the Westchester County Office for Women. The program was facilitated by Alayne Katz, Esq. Our Collaborative professionals were given an overview of domestic violence, including the risk factors/lethality indicators, and how we can identify and support clients who may be victims of domestic violence.

Domestic abuse is defined by any behavior that seeks to deprive the victim of independence and respect that the abuser demands in the relationship in the form of physical abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse and psychological abuse. It is about doing whatever it takes to gain and maintain power and control. You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Many victims are reluctant to reach out to police or victim service agencies and in this way the collaborative professionals may be a gateway to safety.

The collaborative process provides a unique and important opportunity for us to offer assistance and connect the victim/client with other services to keep them safe and to put us in contact with those who may potentially harm their families. Working with police and other professionals, we can collaboratively mitigate the risk of domestic violence and save lives. The panel also included a domestic violence survivor who shared her experience adding valuable context to the presentation.

Monica Kaiser

On February 18, 2020, the NYC Pod honored member Monica Kaiser, who died on January 26th from a burst brain aneurysm. Monica was a practicing family law attorney and mediator, remembered for her warmth, generosity, enthusiasm, wisdom, and kindness.

Boosting your Immunity and Stress Reduction During COVID‑19

At the April 15, 2020 meeting Plaintiff the Northern Westchester Pod, Chiropractor Steve Goodstein (husband of member Melissa Goodstein) presented, the topic, "Boosting your Immunity and Stress Reduction During COVID‑19."  Steve discussed stress reduction strategies, including breathing exercises and steps we can take to boost our immune system.

 Long Island Pod Financial Presentations

On April 21 and May 14, 2020, members Nancy Kaye and Stephen Linker made a PowerPoint presentation over Zoom for the Long Island Pod covering how to find financial information using the different schedules in tax returns and other available documents.

QDRO Tips Webinar

The NYACP Training and Education Committee presented, "QDRO Tips: How to Avoid Malpractice, Draft a Correct Settlement Language," led by Denisa Tova, CFP, of Klein, Liebman Gresen, LLC, and our own Ken Novenstern. Denisa discussed the pitfalls of certain QDRO language contained within Stipulations of Settlement as well as the areas where practitioners are most vulnerable to malpractice lawsuits. Denisa also covered the most common ambiguous or incorrect language that attorneys mistakenly place within their agreements as it pertains to QDROs which can expose their clients to further litigation post‑judgment. At the second session, Denisa and Ken covered, "How to Use a QDRO to Collect Past‑Due Child Support."

To view the webinars, CLICK HERE visit the Member Only Video Library!

NYC Pod Shares Marketing Information

At its April 28, 2020 Zoom meeting, the NYC Pod further considered marketing options for the Pod. Various marketing approaches were discussed, some learned from the Northern Westchester and Long Island Pods.

We're Selling. Who's Buying? 

On May 7, 2020, the NYACP Training and Education Committee presented Part 1 of its marketing series, "We're Selling. Who's Buying? How to Get More Collaborative Cases," led by members Shari Bornstein and Katherine Miller. They discussed how to present the Collaborative process to new clients so that they see the advantages and sign on, and also touched on marketing to bring receptive clients into your office.

To view this webinar, CLICK HERE visit the Member Only Video Library!

Wayne R. Quint on "Health Insurance Options for Divorcees"

The topic of the May 13, 2020 meeting of the Northern Westchester Pod was "Health Insurance Options for Divorcees," led by Wayne R. Quint, CFP. Wayne is a member of the Hudson Valley Collaborative Divorce & Dispute Resolution Association, who provided information on COBRA, Individual Direct to Carrier, NYS of Health Marketplace, Essential Plan, Medicaid, Medicare, and Small Group and Sole Proprietor Plans.

NYACP Presents "The Single Most Effective Activity for Building Your Collaborative Law Practice"