As the vibrant colors of spring begin to blossom around us, I am filled with a sense of renewal and excitement for the future of NYACP. It is during this season of growth that I am reminded of the incredible impact we have made together and the countless seeds we have planted to cultivate positive change and growth in our community.

Just like the delicate plants that emerge from the soil, our organization has nurtured ideas, projects, and initiatives that have taken root and flourished. The Training and Education committee and the NYC, LI, and Northern Westchester PODs continue to offer multiple trainings and programs monthly to enhance our skills. In addition to education and training, our organization places great emphasis on networking and mentorship Our membership committee with its collaborative connection lunches, networking events, and public and professional outreach have expanded and enhanced professional and public understanding of collaborative practice. Our mentorship and Support Groups for Collaborative Practice (“SGCP”) groups provide invaluable guidance and support, nurturing the next generation of collaborative practitioners and conflict resolution advocates.

NYACP also remains committed to diversity, equity, and inclusion. Our Racial Equity committee has been hard at work developing programs, sharing resources and planning outings supporting NYACP members understanding of the impact systemic racism has had on each of us both personally and professionally. The racial equity media club organized a Broadway outing to see Purlie Victorious and is organizing a Spring group visit to the Museum of the City of New York for the Activist NY exhibit in addition to our book and film discussion group meetings held every other month. We hope to continue to provide programs for self- reflection and education so we can more effectively work with clients and colleagues who have been historically excluded from the collaborative process due to race. Through this work, the goal is to create a safer community and to foster NYACP membership that more accurately reflects the diversity of the greater New York area.

I am immensely grateful for the dedication and hard work of our committee members, board, members, and partners. Your unwavering commitment to our shared mission has enabled us to make a lasting difference in the lives of those we serve. Together, we continue to plant seeds of collaboration, education, and support, ensuring the growth and success of NYACP.

As the beauty of spring surrounds, I am also reminded of the importance of nurturing ourselves so that we may continue to plant collaborative seeds and blossom as individuals, both personally and professionally. Just like a garden, we must care for ourselves to be able to serve others effectively and competently. By practicing self-care, we cultivate a healthy garden within ourselves, allowing us to thrive and flourish in our roles as compassionate and effective conflict resolution advocates.

Nurturing ourselves requires patience, as growth takes time. Let us be kind to ourselves and acknowledge that personal and professional development is a journey. By embracing learning opportunities, seeking mentorship, and supporting each other, our collaborative practices can continue to grow and evolve in our respective disciplines.

Wishing you a season filled with growth, inspiration, and endless possibilities.

Girl scout cookie season is upon us. Here is a 3-ingredient recipe for a healthier version of the popular Caramel Delites cookies: Date Coconut Chocolate Cookies

10 medjool dates, pitted and soaked, 1 cup toasted coconut flakes, one cup dark chocolate chips ( Lily’s no sugar great). Pit your dates and soak them in water for a couple of minutes to soften, Process the dates in a food processor and add water as needed and then add toasted coconut to form a smooth paste. Roll the mixture in balls, flatten with spoon and poke whole in the center and place them in a lined parchment sheet in freezer while you melt chocolate chips and then dip each cookie in dark chocolate and then drizzle more on top with some crushed toasted coconut flakes. Place back in freezer for 30 minutes and then ENJOY!

With Gratitude, Melissa

YOUR BOARD AT WORK

Your NYACP Board meets every two months on the Second Thursday and works diligently to identify what is happening in the organization and what we can continually work on to build a better and more fulfilling organization for our members. There was lots of excitement at this month’s meeting about all of the new educational and social programs being spearheaded by the committee chairs. Continue reading to learn about all of the most recent and upcoming events. A budget has been approved by the Board to fund many of the events being planned. We urge you to get involved! 

WELCOME NEW MEMBERS

Debra Farea, CDFA, MBA

Debra Farea is a Certified Public Accountant licensed in both New York and Connecticut. She is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. Debra has her own tax practice and works with estates/trusts, small businesses and individuals assisting not only with tax requirements but developing financial budgets and projections, analyzing retirement options and forecasting. Over the last few years, she has assisted many clients decipher their divorce decrees from a tax planning and budgeting perspective. Debra is eager to engage earlier in the divorce process as a financial neutral. Debra holds a B.A in Accounting and Marketing from Boston College and a MBA from NYU Stern School of Business.
Fun Fact - She lived in London for a few years and walked her daughters to school with Tim Burton.

Tom Hutson, CPA

Tom Hutson, a member of the Hudson Valley Collaborative Divorce & Dispute Resolution Association, joined NYACP in February.

Tom has more than 35 years of experience as an accountant and business appraiser. He is a Certified Public Accountant (CPA), Accredited in Business Valuation (ABV) and Certified in Financial Forensics (CFF) by the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants and he is also a Certified Financial PlannerTM and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®.  Tom is a Partner at BST & Co. CPAs, LLP where he has specialized in business valuation and other financial forensic services and consulting services since 1994. Presently, he is Chair of the New York State Society of Certified Public Accountants’ Business Valuation and Litigation Services Committee and serves as a Director of the Estate Planning Council of Eastern New York.

Tom enjoys assisting other professionals on collaborative and mediated matters and helping clients to resolve their disputes.
He is looking forward to building relationships with fellow members and sharing his experience and expertise.

Daniel Schwartz

Daniel Schwartz is a marriage and family therapist, with over 25 years of experience working with some of the country’s most philanthropic families. Daniel provides couple and family based counseling services as well as working with complex multi-generational family dynamics, international families, and LGBTQ families. A graduate of Harvard College and the Harvard Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, Daniel was awarded a Doctorate in Business Administration (hon. caus.) from the Glasgow Caledonian University. He also trained at the Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation and the Harvard Business School.  Daniel has also learned that making a ginger bug starter in his kitchen can be quite explosive.  Daniel is a NYACP Mental Health Student.

Nanci A. Smith, Esq.

Nanci A. Smith, Esq., is an attorney licensed to practice in Vermont and New York. She is the co-chair of the Collaborative Divorce section of the Vermont Bar Association, a leader in her collaborative divorce practice group, and a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, and the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals. She frequently writes and talks about divorce, family law, ethics, and collaborative divorce practices. She believes that a good divorce is possible when you show up for it with humility, compassion, and the correct support. Smith is the author of Untangling Your Marriage: A Guide to Collaborative Divorce (Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Oct 11, 2022). Learn more at nancismithlaw.com.

COMMITTEES

TRAINING AND EDUCATION COMMITTEE

The Training and Education Committee has been hard at work planning educational programming that will enhance our member experience, and enable members to improve your knowledge, skills, and Collaborative practice. At the same time, these programs, whether in person or virtually, provide our members with the opportunity to network, get to know one another. Programs include periodic advanced collaborative practice trainings averaging once a month from Sept to June every year for all professionals by non -members and members, basic collaborative divorce training for prospective new members by members annually or every other year and annual day of collaborative process training and annual meeting.  The committee is given a budget approved by board on an annual basis and programs are designed to enable members to achieve excellence in collaborative practice. The committee strives to provide trainings in response to membership interests and topical issues relative to our collaborative practices. Training take place at locations in NYC, Westchester and on Long Island, with location and platform for a particular training taking into consideration preferences of trainers, sponsors, likely attendees, cost and other factors.  The Committee meets monthly September-June on the first Thursday of the month from 12 to 1pm via Zoom.  

In addition to the wealth of programming that the PODs provide, the Training and Education Committee is had at work planning programs for throughout the year. Most programs will provide CLEs, CMEs and CEUs (Sponsored by Family Kind) 

2024 Financial Symposium

Photos from the 2024 Financial Symposium

RACIAL EQUITY COMMITTEE

An important message from the Committee Chair, Jessica Rothberg:

Westchester - A Collaborative Connections lunch was held at at Aberdeen Restaurant (Dim Sum) on February 15th. Attendees: Michelle Lewis, Neil Kozek, Kathleen Donelli, Steve Kaplan, Barbara Bel,  Meg Sussman, new financial professional, Jay Mota. It was a good turnout, and a good lunch!  Contact: Michele Lewis.

Remaining 2024 Collaborative Lunch Schedule

NYACP Collaborative Connections - Westchester
Friday, May 3, 2024 from 12:30pm - 2:00pm
Lilly’s in White Plains, 169 Mamaroneck Avenue, White Plains, NY 10601

NYACP Collaborative Connections - NYC
Friday, May 8, 2024 from 12:00pm - 2:00pm
Pershing Square, 90 E 42nd St, New York, NY 10017 (Near Grand Central Station)

Mentorship Program

The Spring Mentorship Program is Underway!

Each Mentorship session will run for four months.  In the first meeting, participants are encouraged you to share a little about their background and how they became involved in collaborative practice, as well their expectations for the program. Based on prior experience, we suggest that the Mentor and Mentee schedule all of their mentorship meetings in that initial meeting, which can then be confirmed or changed as needed. We will send a reminder each month regarding scheduling.

At the end of the session, we held a full group gathering (virtually) on January 17, 2024 from 5 to 6 pm for feedback, discussion and networking. This session is part of the mentorship program.  Here's what some of the participants had to say:

"The NYACP mentorship program has been such a valuable experience that both myself and my mentor decided to do it for another round. I cannot speak highly enough of this opportunity as a new member. It not only offers the mentee a chance to learn more about the collaborative process but to get involved on a more meaningful level with the organization. I have had the great fortune to have Randy Heller as my mentor who has taken the time to help me learn and get to know me both personally and professionally. Already in the second round I have joined the membership committee and am working with Randy on other endeavors. I am looking forward to continued learning and growth in the program this spring.”  - Nora Marcus, MHP, Mentee

"It is an honor to work with Nora! Her vulnerability, transparency, curiosity, and enthusiasm  lend itself to tremendous growth. Nora already is a tremendous asset to our organization! To my mind, being a mentor is a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow, together. When one is ”mentoring” another, it is a collaborative process involving the sharing of knowledge, ideas, skills, values, and goals. Without this, professional growth and successful outcomes are not possible. I believe we are never too experienced to learn and grow, together! – Randy Heller, PhD, Mentor

"I greatly appreciate the work done by the Membership Committee and Catherine Canade, Esq. and Shara Goldfarb, Esq. in implementing the Mentorship Program for NYACP.  I have had the pleasure of spending time with Adam Halper, Esq. and getting to know Adam as a younger Attorney and as a person. Adam and I have operated on the concept that everything is better with food. We have shared many lunches, including lunch with one of my friends who also happens to be a referral source. Our most recent lunch was last week. We discuss how to generate cases and issues around cases. I credit Adam for getting more involved with NYACP committees, attendance at events, crating his own program on AI which is coming up quickly and being more active in promoting himself. I look forward to our continued growth together." - Ken Novenstern, Esq., Mentor

"I am excited to be at the beginning of my third round as a collaborative mentor. They say, once you reach a certain age you naturally gravitate to teaching. This certainly seems true for me. At the same time, I am also still a student. For the second time in three years, I am in a seminar led by Pauline Tesler, (in case anyone reading this doesn’t know) one of the founders of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and a well-known and respected thought-leader in this field. We read books and articles and watch videos all designed to enhance our understanding of our clients, ourselves, the science and neuroscience of the brain and give us the tools to better resolve the conflicts before us, and on a good day, the underlying conflict that plagues our couples. I am very happy to be able to pass some of what I learn to my mentees. At the same time, I have been blessed with the best mentees! First was Ariella Deutsch, an associate at Berkman Bottger Newman and Schein. Barry Berkman was instrumental in bringing collaborative to New York. What could anyone who works with him and his team of experienced collaborators get from me? Yet, Ariella and I had a great time talking about lots of specific challenges we encounter in this work. It’s much easier to fashion creative and thoughtful solutions when you’re not face to face with desperate, distraught clients, busy schedules and deadlines.  

Then there was Corey Shapiro. I googled him. He describes, on his website, why he does this work, and his philosophy of how he does it in a way that I wish I had. Which, again, made me wonder what he could possibly get from me. I had just finished reading A General Theory of Love, which I recommended to Corey and which he actually read. This allowed us to be able to share our enhanced understanding of what happens in relationships and the state of mind of our clients. We also talked quite a bit about the day today practice challenges and obstacles. Our conversations were effortless and always exceeded the time allotted.

Next was (is) Alexandra Halsey-Storch. She works for Katherine Miller. Here we go again! What could she learn from me. Due to vacations, and work emergencies we have only met once, but we have identified a special topic we will be tackling and ultimately sharing with all of you in some way.
The value of taking time out, with no pressure, to think about, talk about, brainstorm and dive deeper into the challenges of the work we do is priceless. The questions and insights that the mentees bring definitely make my work better. I am grateful for this opportunity." - Teresa Ombres, Esq., Mentor

This program is intended to provide an informal opportunity for newer collaborative professionals to have access to the experience of a more seasoned professional for informal case consultation and advice on business practices. This not a formal training program or apprenticeship. It is up to each Mentor whether they wish to have the Mentee observe, take notes, or otherwise take part in Collaborative meetings.

Thank you to the Mentors for your generosity, and to the Mentees for your interest in further developing your Collaborative practices. Please reach out with any questions, comments or concerns.

Pod Meetings are monthly. Please check the “full calendar on our website for topics, dates and times. PODS are a wonderful way to learn, grow, and develop relationships with your fellow Collaborative Colleagues. Looking forward to seeing you all there!

New York City Pod

On Tuesday, January 9, 2024 and February 13, 2024 the NYC POD hosted Steven Paymer, MSW of Paymer Associates, LLC for a two part series speaking about Drug and Alcohol Testing and Monitoring: Keeping Children and Families Safe. Steve provided our professionals with a thorough overview of the testing and monitoring methods currently available, important language to be used in agreements and orders, as well as a basic understanding of substance abuse. Participants will experience some of the technology first hand, including urine, sweat, saliva and hair testing, SL3 remote breath testing (aka Soberlink), and SCRAM CAM transdermal alcohol testing. Part II focused on alcohol testing and monitoring, including a monitoring protocol. There was an interesting Q & A, particularly regarding challenging cases.

On Tuesday, March 12, 2024 Kathleen (Kate) Bar-Tur, LCSW, FIPA and Elana Katz, LCSW, LMFT were hosted by the NYC POD and presented a program entitled When All the King's Horses and all the King’s Men Can't Put Things Together: The Client Who Can't Recover . This presentation and follow-up conversation focused on the client who cannot seem to find any pockets of resilience or light in their darkness. In this program, two experienced family specialists discussed the challenges of the seemingly intractable client and the possibilities for helping them to find their way out of their darkness.

Northern Westchester Pod

On Wednesday, January 17, 2024 the Northern Westchester Pod hosted Georgia Kramer, Esq, Partner Abrams Fensterman, LLP who presented: How to Negotiate and Draft Terms for the Sale of a House in the Collaborative Process. Topics for discussion included and were not limited to: Choice of broker; Establishing the sales price; The time of sale; Closing in the future; Occupancy; Maintenance pending sale; Costs of closing and transfer taxes; and Reporting gains. Georgia not only presented these issues to be dealt with, she also offered suggestions for resolution.

UPCOMING EVENTS ~ Mark Your Calendar for these Spring Events!

Resources Relating to Children and Special Needs on April 17th

The Northern Westchester Pod will be presenting Chrissy Liptrot on Wednesday, April 17, 2024 from 9:00am to 10:00am.

Chrissy Liptrot is an educational consultant and advocate with over ten years of Special Education classroom experience. She is a Westchester County native who started her career teaching tenth and eleventh-grade English at the Churchill School, a K-12 private school for students with learning disabilities in New York City. Chrissy then transitioned to a Westchester County public school, where she taught sixth, seventh, and eighth-grade Special Education across multiple subjects and disciplines. She has worked closely with students and their families to navigate the complex and often intimidating IEP and 504 process. Chrissy has been advocating for student accommodations and modifications throughout her tenure as an educator and continues to do so as an educational consultant.

EVENT PAGE

Using AI In Our Collaborative Practice Webinar on April 19th

Courtney Chicvak is the CEO and Conflict Resolution Specialist at Courtney Anne Chicvak Mediation LLC, a Long Island-based alternative dispute resolution (ADR) firm dedicated to promoting peace within families and the Director of Alternative Dispute Resolution at Long Island Dispute Resolution Centers (EAC Network).  As an International Mediation Institute (IMI) Certified Mediator, Courtney has used the facilitative and transformative mediation models during hundreds of disputes to support difficult conversations, to inspire understanding, and to empower participants to discover pathways to their own resolutions.

Hon. Waterman-Marshall is a New York State trial court judge who joined the bench as an experienced civil litigator. She practiced in the New York State and Federal trial and appellate courts for close to sixteen years (from 1999-2014), before taking a position as the Principal Law Clerk to Justice Arthur Engoron, with whom she worked until her election to the New York City Civil Court bench in November 2018. Although Hon. Waterman-Marshall's practice concentrated largely on general civil and commercial matters, with a brief stint in the public sector as an Attorney for the Child, her judicial career thus far has been focused in family and matrimonial law.

Hon. Waterman-Marshall's experiences as a litigator, coupled with the humane approach she employed and developed in Family Court, inform how she manages her inventory of contested and uncontested divorce actions, general civil actions, and Article 75 and 78 proceedings.

Since 2016, Hon Waterman-Marshall has been an Adjunct Law Professor at Benjamin Cardozo School of Law, where she teaches first-year legal writing and lawyering. In addition, she remains active in several bar associations, including the New York State Bar Association, the New York City Bar Association, and the New York Women’s Bar Association.

MEMBER NEWS

Educating the Next Generation of Collaborative Professionals

It is so critical, not to mention rewarding, when we, as Collaborative Professionals, inspire, and watch our next generation of Collaborative Professionals, be educated about the process as they learn how to transform the lives of the families they will work with.

In February, Marcos Fernandez and Randy Heller presented about Collaborative Practice to an ADR class at Seton Hall University School of Law - Conflict Management Program. The students were quite interested in this form of Alternative Dispute resolution that they were not aware of.

Watch for Details and Check the Website for all NYACP Events

The NYACP Newsletter is intended to inform you not only about what is going on in your organization. It is an invitation and opportunity for our members to get involved as you strengthen your Collaborative relationships and your practice. Please send information about you, your practice, your activities, and your success to Randy Heller, [email protected].